Delusional Reversal, Times Two

This is the base mechanism of so-called ‘schizophrenic’ reaction.
It is sometimes called ‘transference’ and ‘counter transference except that the premise is wrong. That is the problem however. It is all connected to a false premise.

In my own breakdown, this is what I did:
I projected my OWN level of awareness onto my ‘assessors’ and judges.
They, in turn, projected their level of awareness onto me. This created a MUTUALLY delusional reversal and that is the false premise which was (and is) being used by virtually everyone to assess the reality of the situation.

What they were projecting onto me was not their ‘superior’ awareness but their LACK of awareness of both me as I really am, and also themselves as they really are, and the reality of the situation itself. It was not one, or the other, as I once tried to understand it.

What I was projecting onto them was my own greater awareness of what was going on in concrete reality as well as what was going on with both me and them.
This was not just a communication problem. There was NO communication taking place at all; just mutual projection being passed off as communication.

Neither side though (no me or them) understood the entire set up. We were not ever intended to understand it either. This set up was being used for power and control by the guy who started it all in the first place for just that purpose.

Back then though, when I looked at the participants, they all looked fully aware to me and many of them appeared to be very vicious, mocking and laughing as though this was the most ‘fun’ they had ever had in their lives. The fact is SOME of them WERE vicious and were having ‘fun’ just as I perceived. I believe others were also having ‘fun’ based upon the same belief I once held myself; that this was some sort of joke or ‘game’ that included both me and them. (This is also true on a certain level) MY protagonist had created this mess through soliciting ‘interpretations’ about what was going on from people he knew would project their own beliefs INTO the abstraction he had handed them in order to get hem to DO just that. He was not really looking for ‘understanding’ as he already had that before he started the ‘game.’ He was manipulating them to co-operate with his hidden agenda of domination. This is what the ‘joke’ is all about.
From their point of view though, I looked unaware and stupid to them. I was stunned by their group behaviour and I am quite sure my confusion was apparent. It is also true that at least some of them knew my protagonist was trying to confuse me but I think they excused it and also their own participation in it, by reducing me in their own minds to the level of an ‘inferior’ as doing so allowed them to act our as they did and excuse it all. After all, if we ‘inferiors’ don’t know we are being abused, then it doesn’t really count AS abuse does it.
Answer: yes. It does count. You will soon see just how much it counts too.
As they would never talk to me directly or genuinely, I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what they thought they were doing. I have spent time in the past doing exactly the same thing in relation to other people, operating in groups, in very much the same way.

At first, I misinterpreted all of the smiles and laughs and little obvious set ups as a ‘joke’ that included me. I did this because I tend to relate to everyone as equals. I later realized it is this that helps to create a communication problem when I am relating to others who always relate as either superior or inferior. The two styles don’t mix and they create opposing versions of reality when used as the premise of thought.
This is often the basis of the mutually delusional reversal. We who relate as equals think they must be joking (all that smirking arrogance looks like high humour from our point of view)

They who operate as superiors to inferiors think we ARE the joke. That is why it does not make sense to anyone. Sense has nothing at all to do with it. Though neither side can find the ‘sense’ in it, one side (the individual forced into isolation) is psychiatrized for not being able to ‘make sense of things,’ with the reality of that defined as a ‘symptom.’ The group though does not define itself in the same way, even though the group members suffer from exactly the same ‘sign.’ This is part of the group decision to begin avoiding responsibility for the group thinking and behaviour. This is another point of action where the reality ‘splitting’ occurs and the outcome is mostly predictable from here on. The victim is now on her way to becoming the group scapegoat, and will be judged inherently defective, or crazy, for seeing the truth the others did not (and DO not ) want to believe she sees. The group splitting off of reality is going to fulfill their own prophecy. The individual targeted will now BE mad, even if the group has to drive her to the destination themselves.

So, as is so often the case, I also was driven to the destination my original protagonist had selected for me long before he had begun the game, or ‘joke’ that was intended to get me where he wanted me to be; ‘out of his circle’ of influence.

This time though, the target made it all the way back. I came out of my half of the delusion but the group did not. Some of them, so I hear, are beginning finally to wake up to the truth about them as well as me and my protagonist. At least, that is what I hear out here in the world of reality where I am supposed to be hearing ‘hallucinated’ conversations about it along with my paranoid delusions causing me to believe that ‘people are talking about me.’ See any irony in this? Does it make you want to laugh? If you laugh, are you laughing for no reason? On what level of understanding do you mean that?

So then added to all the chaos and confusion that was created was the fact that it was done by an unseen aggressor with a hidden agenda of domination. He did this vaguely, suggesting it was a joke or game without ever being too concrete. That too, as it turns out, is right out of his plan, which he understood he must keep ‘secret.’ It also has a level of truth in it and as it is said inside the game demonstration itself, ‘Life is a joke; it’s a game.’ This is the aggressor’s game presented as an abstraction. How far he originally intended it to go, I really don’t know but, what I DO know is that he did this ‘set up’ deliberately for no other reason than the power rush he gets from out of dominating both me, as his targeted ‘item’ and also the group he manipulates to act it all out for him.
You see, he knew that when the chaos and confusion he created took over, no one would be able to find the source of the problem (other than me ) and when the group realized what they had done, they would close ranks and pretend they had not done anything at all in order to save themselves at my expense. That is exactly what they did too. Of course, as soon as I realized this was no ‘joke’ and they were doing this for real, I knew they would do that too since I have seen this group behaviour several times before. That was when I decided we were all going to finish this particular version of the game. We are going to go all the way on this one folks; full circle. That is how my protagonist ‘won’ the contest he decided he was in with me; by making me the ‘loser’ in the game of life.
Unfortunately, I am not what people would call a ‘good’ loser in this particular game. I am really short on the much touted ‘forgiveness.’ Just ask all my team of psychiatrists. (They may not be able to talk about it though as they believe there is no ‘I’ in ‘team.’)

Here we are at the end of the game and only my protagonist and I actually know what he really did and we also both know that the group will believe him to be ‘innocent’ and ‘confused’ when in fact, this outcome is pretty much just what he intended it should be. Perhaps he did not expect thousands of people to get involved but since they have, perhaps we should ask him just how much of this he intended and also why he didn’t try to stop it. I think everyone should be kept informed right to the end don’t you? After all are we not supposed to be all the wiser after his generous sharing of experience? Surely he can still manage to get some pleasure out of his target’s ongoing losses so let’s keep him fully informed and everyone else too. That’s the key to understanding you know; being FULLY informed. I am sure some of you remember me saying that to you, especially those of you who listened nine very day to my messages for him and then later for you. Do you not recall me telling you, “Nothing makes sense if you don’t have enough information but everything does if you do.”
Don’t you know what the means yet? It isn’t really complicated. All you have to do is stop deluding yourselves that you are somehow magically ‘hidden’ in plain sight and- BINGO!- you will suddenly become aware of the bloody obvious just the same as most of us ‘nuts’ are aware of it.

Right now, he is just pretending to be ‘mystified’ and will continue to do so as long as he can keep himself ‘off the hook.’ He thinks that should work OK (I would guess) because I have been psychiatrized for knowing and for saying so, and the result has been that I have been told to be quiet about it or I could risk further ‘treatment’ for this awful ‘Paranoid Delusional Disorder’ from which I have been pronounced to suffer (hopelessly) since I still believe that I was set up by a psychiatric nurse who was deliberately doing this thing to me out of his so called ‘training’ from which he was quoting. Of course, I am frequently assured that I just ‘read too much into things’ so we can’t go by me can we?
My disorder has caused me to ‘think’ my protagonist has ‘set me up’ even though it would not be ‘reasonable’ for him to do so. Aren’t I just the crazy loon?

This pattern of group behaviour which starts between two people, is repeated over and over again, in the lives of the psychiatrized with consistently predictable results.
It is also called victim-blaming.
Many mental health pros discuss the topic and some say we should all get away from this victim/blaming thing. Others want to get away from the victim-blaming thing.
I am with the second group.
I also want to get away from this ‘nobody must me blamed’ thing, (Key world ‘nobody) and I also want us all to get away from this ‘you must forgive them for your own sake’ thing. I think we have done far too much ‘forgiving’ of the unrepentant abusers and controllers who keep right on behaving the same way because they know they are going to be forgiven by people whom THEY consider to be idiots who deserve just what they are getting.
In my fascinating case, it is the victim who was targeted who understands it better than anyone else; including better than the protagonist who DID the targeting in the first place.
Since I will not be a good compliant victim, ‘overlooking’ abuse, ‘forgiving’ my unrepentant attacker, and his equally unrepentant supporters, at least ONE of the people who has decided to enter into a life contest with me is finally going to get what he ‘thinks’ he wants: the CREDIT he deserves for being at the top of his (it’s) ‘game.’
Once he gets It, it is, finally, GAME OVER.

That goes for any leader who recreates it too.